I lead a happy life… everyday.

Just recently, i found out how i could be happy and what made me sad in the past years of my life. It may be fair to say that for me to be happy, i have to take away in my life those that makes me sad. But that might not be logical at all. I don't know exactly how i could be happy... All i know is that i have to be.

I used to be so eager about the future. I used to think so much about the future – what I’d be doing five or ten years from now, what I am, what things I should be busy with or where should I live. I was so engrossed by the thought of me working in an architectural firm, having babies, going on a home which I personally designed, waiting for my husband to come home, preparing dinner for my family, and so on. I know there is nothing wrong to think about the future and definitely it is not wrong to prepare for it. But by doing so, I forgot that I was living the present – I actually wasn’t living the present, I was living the future.

There are so many things that I want to achieve in my life and to achieve more than half of these things, it would take years. I realized that there are also things that I want to achieve in my present life, the most important of which is being happy. I was so lost living in the future that I did not realize how much I was missing in this life.

It’s not that I stopped thinking about the future, but I now think less of the future and more of the present. I stopped worrying about my how I’ll have my work done on time when I a client asks me to design something. I stopped worrying about how to rear children, how to change diapers, or how to make them stop crying. I stopped worrying about where to build my house and what concept I should be implementing. I stopped worrying how long I should be waiting for my husband to come home when I am tired and wanting to lie in bed early. I stopped worrying about what dinner to prepare or how to do it – I don’t even know how to cook! I stopped worrying about the things I should not worry about… or not just yet. Worry is just a waste of emotional reserve.

I live one day at a time. I no longer think in decades. I no longer wait for tomorrow. I no longer live in the future. I am happy today… living it as if it is my first or last day alive.