The past few months had treated me good and bad at the same time. There had been lots of new things I have tried, as if I was filling up holes in my life, building up walls to strengthen my defense and leaping far beyond to see things I have never seen before. Even so, I had been reluctant to go overboard, to get my other foot out of the mud I've put myself into for far too long that it takes a lot of effort to do so. I find it hard to completely let go of the things too familiar, like home.
There had been too many memories, dreams, unspoken promises and beliefs to hold on to. Letting go of what used to be is like letting go of the years that molded me, and still molds me. But just like home, time will come when I have to leave. I can look back as often as I’d like to, go back as often as I can, but I should not expect things to be the same as before.
Home, I used to think, should always stay the same, treat you the same. NO. I was wrong to think that. Home, I realized, is not at all familiar. Because the slightest change could make it a thousand times different than before. Then you’ll find yourself lost in a place you thought is yours. And you don’t have any idea where you stand.
There had been too many memories, dreams, unspoken promises and beliefs to hold on to. Letting go of what used to be is like letting go of the years that molded me, and still molds me. But just like home, time will come when I have to leave. I can look back as often as I’d like to, go back as often as I can, but I should not expect things to be the same as before.
Home, I used to think, should always stay the same, treat you the same. NO. I was wrong to think that. Home, I realized, is not at all familiar. Because the slightest change could make it a thousand times different than before. Then you’ll find yourself lost in a place you thought is yours. And you don’t have any idea where you stand.
