Live. Laugh. Dance. Jump. Shout. Play.

(The effect of a weekend at Sagada...)

Studying is not the only way we can learn. Books are not the only source of knowledge. There are so many things out there, so many people, so many places; so much to experience that could teach us the most important things in life that we have to know. And sometimes, the most important things and lessons are not taught in school or read in books, we just have to go out there and discover and learn it with ourselves.

There is more to life than having high grades or being academically excellent. Sometimes, by being so focused on that one thing – academics, we lose in touch with all else – which are all the more important. We tend to be concentrated on that one thing that the things that we really want to do are neglected and compromised, making us unhappy and in the future, we fail to see the end that we had hoped for. Balance plays the most important part in our lives – balance on everything that makes our existence worthwhile, the actual reasons why we live, the purpose of our life.

There is no other time to be happy but today. There is no other time to do the things that we want to do but today. Because today is the only day we can control for yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not certain. If you want something done, do it today and do it because you want to not because you have to.

Happiness is a matter of choice. And yes, I choose to be happy. I choose to live the way I want. To achieve my dreams, I know I have to work hard – really hard. But on second thoughts, it’s not really working hard because achieving my dream is something that I want to do. And since I want it, I am happy doing it – it may be working hard but without feeling like carrying a heavy burden. I want to secure my future but more than that, I want to secure my present. If something goes wrong on my way to the future, at least I have done what I want and I won’t have any regrets. The more we think about the future, the less we live today because we are always so excited about tomorrow that we forget that today is the tomorrow we have yesterday.

I am tired of thinking about the future. I am done hoping and waiting for the future, which, in actuality, is something that will never end. We don’t live in the future – not in the dreams that we have for ourselves, not for who we hope we are by then. If we wait for the future, it’s like waiting forever and waiting for nothing at all.

All I want to say is… do whatever makes you happy as long as it falls down within the bounds of your values and principles. Prepare for your future but please do not forget that today was once the future that we have waited in the past. Achieve your dreams but do not overdo things. You’ve got one life and only one chance to live it. Enjoy it. Live. Laugh. Dance. Jump. Shout. Play. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do – and there is no other right time to do it but today.

*Tinatamad na mag-aral. Malapit na ang bakasyon! :)*

Reminiscing the Past 19 Heart’s Days

As a child, I have always loved the 14th of February. Every year when I was in kindergarten and grade school, I would receive chocolate flowers or chocolate hearts from a classmate. Her mom sells such chocolates every Valentine’s Day and I find it nice to have one or two or three for free for 7 consecutive years. It’s amazing how at such young age we have a conception of what’s with that special day and in school, we celebrate it with our best red dress.

During high school days, February is one of the months I anticipated because of the booths that we, the students take charge of. One of my favorites, of course, is the marriage booth. Though I never had the chance to get married on the Clituria tree, I have been happy to have witnessed the marriages of my friends. But the most important reason why I anticipated February is the prom – when the night is young and the stars above are witnesses of such a wonderful moment when white turns black and black turns red.

Last night, I was at the concert at UP. Midnight came and the 5-minute fireworks display started. I remembered the first and the last time we went to EK, the battle of the bands at San Jose, the 2009 New Year countdown and how I wished you were by my side as I behold the sound, smoke and motion of illuminating colors combined stunningly into a marvelous display. Not so long after, someone came to me and gave me a bouquet of flowers. For a moment, I hesitated to accept it but then realized it would be rude since his friends and my friends were there. And then again, I wished you were there.

I woke up today at 2pm, took a bath and went out for lunch. It put a smile on my face when I saw roses and balloons all over the place – the streets overwhelming with bouquets of freshly-picked flowers of different colors and kinds, and of couples unafraid to show love. Valentine’s Day is a good excuse for them to be sappy romantic, just as their hearts are hit by the arrows of cupid.

While I was eating, something hit me right there and then. I no longer receive chocolate hearts and chocolate flowers from a grade school boy. I no longer witness the marriage of my friends at the Clituria tree. Prom has been long gone and will never be repeated.

Things are not the same during Valentine’s Day. But that did not make me sad. In fact, it made me happy to realize the impossibility of returning back to the happiness of childhood conception of love because it made me move ahead to the possibility of happiness of finding true love. I have been more than lucky to stumble upon a miracle of finding such. There is no greater gift than to be loved in return...

Happy Valentine’s beb! Cheers! :)

Today, I am giving up.

Last semester, I got a grade of 3 (the lowest possible passing grade) in one of my major subjects, Arch 17 (History, Theory and Criticism II: Philippine Architecture). And that must really be something. I have been trying to retrieve from my teacher my final exam and my 10-page paper, which are more than half of the grade. Since the day the grades came out until now, despite the blatancy of my perseverance, he hasn’t given those to me, reasoning that he left it at home. One instant, he told me he was out of town, that’s why he did not receive my text reminding him to bring those papers to school the following day. What a lame excuse!

He is known for giving low grades and most students tend to make that the reason for not fighting against something they know they don’t deserve. I am not one of the most students. With nothing else but hope, I could be the one bold enough to correct his wrongdoing – giving grades in a way not fair for everyone. That might sound too heroic, but I believe that it does not take a superhuman to correct something wrong. I am more than certain that I don’t deserve a three – but unfortunately the proof is not in my hands. When I have learned that he gave me a three, it’s as is my world has crushed into coals and ashes and all the efforts that I have exerted for that final paper and the days and nights reviewing for the final exam have all gone into waste and that is so beyond the pale.

I want to fight for it but I have realized that there is nothing I can do now. Who am I? For him, I am just a speck of dust without any importance whatsoever, that my absence wouldn’t even be noticed by the world and that I don’t have the power to dispute what on earth he has done. Well for me, he is just the same.

Even though it’s against my desire, I am giving up. Not because I feel powerless to be against someone superior, but because I have learned to accept the fact that life is not really fair no matter how hard you try to fight it.

I won’t mind that three anymore. I won’t mind how my teachers measure how much I have done in their class – it’s not like they can measure my capability. Just like a boxer who lost a fight because of a judge who gave a score he does not deserve. It should have been a unanimous decision and the boxer should have won. But for the boxer, it does not carry any weight. Winning or losing is not what measures his skill, not the number of punches he gave or has avoided, or how many rounds he has lasted in the ring. It is how he fight, knowing it is fair and it is by heart. More importantly, it is the fact that he has given his best to that fight. Some may judge a boxer from the number of losses and wins or the knock-outs, but some who watch him fight know much better. It would be more dishonoring for the judge who made a mistake on purpose than the boxer who has not won the fight.

At 19, I don’t really know what life is all about. I have more to experience, more to know about it. But for now, this is what I say: Life is not about winning or losing, not about successes or failures, not about how much we earn or how we spend it, not about the things we have or the things we lost. Maybe, just maybe, it is not about the opportunities taken or missed. Life may not be fair. Trust me, it’s not and there’s nothing we can do about it.

Life is not fair. And we should learn to live with it. Perhaps, we can fight it but I advice you not to, because if we try to fight life, life always wins.